| saved by the bell, bitches. |
[12 Oct 2005|03:30pm] |
so... fuckin' alan wants to hang out with me last night. and i'm all up for it, because i haven't seen the dude forever. plus he's real hot (don't deny it, you know he is). and he's all like "dude, do you remember saved by the bell?" and i'm like "yeah, dude". and he's like "dude, remember mr. belding?" and i'm like "uh, yeah". and alan's all like "dude, he's talking at my school. we're gonna go." and i was like "sweet, dude".
so we go to duquesne university where alan attends and there he is... mr. belding from the hit early 90s show. oh yes. there were some HARDCORE FANS there. alan asked him the question: "does it bother you that people only remember you as mr. belding?" and mr. belding go all offended. it was hilarious. so alan and i met him and got his autograph and picture taken with him.
here is proof. p.s. i look like crap, okay.
( he hasn't aged well at all )
there is a long weekend this weekend. i'm going home to michigan with jessie. good times will be had. plus i'll take a lot of pictures. ALSO, it's final that i am definately going to russia next semester to work in an orphanage. FUCK YEAH. everything's comin' up liza.
AND i totally have a girl crush. i also have a boy crush. but the girl crush is more likely to happen. i love being single. yes.
xo.
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| pictures from d.c.!!! |
[27 Sep 2005|01:32pm] |
jessie and i and some other chatham girls went to the peace march in d.c. this past saturday. it was my first really big march (they say there were between 300,000 and 500,000 people there!) and it was totally life-changing. i'm still just so amazed by it all. there were people of all ages, from babies to world war II veterans for peace. there were people of all races and cultures. there were people of all subcultures - hippies, goths, punks, indie rockers, scenesters, you name it! people of all different political groups: socialists, green party members, democrats, anarchists, libertarians, communists! what was really cool, too, was that there were people of all different religions, too: quakers, lutherans, presbyterians, buddhists, unitarians, etc. it was so diverse and yet we were all there for the same reason. this gives me some hope for a better future for our world.
( lots and lots of pictures )
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| rest in piece, kent russell (dad). |
[03 Sep 2005|08:30pm] |
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bright eyes. |
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my dad died. my mom and i were going out to lunch today and she broke it to me in the car. she said "i have something to tell you", with a dire look on her face. at first, i thought she was going to tell me my grandma died, because she's been sick. mom said "no". i asked if my cat sylvia was okay. she said "yes, she's fine". i was prepared for the worst and yelled "what's going on?! tell me!" she said, "sweetie, i got a call from grandpa harold. your dad died".
i know that my dad wasn't the best person. i know he had a really bad life. i know that my my loved him once. i'd like to believe that he once loved me, too. my biggest wish was to one day get in touch with him. call him, write him, maybe even see him. we never had a relationship after he and my mom divorced. i never expected to ever have a relationship with him. i simply wanted him to know that even though i hate him for what he'd done my mother and his family, i loved him anyway. i would say to him "i love you, dad. i wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you."
i like to think that there is a lot of him in me. i never used to think so. i was a spitting image of my mother. my uncle gary (on my dad's side) told my mom that every time he sees a picture of me, he can see my dad in me. he says he can see i'm part of the russell family. this comforts me. my dad was an amazing artist: painter, drawer, and tattoos! i guess i got my artistic flair from him. my dad had two full sleeves! i guess that's where i got my love of body art. we have the same texture and color of hair, the same shape of eyes. we even have the same handwriting.
i can't remember the last time i cried this hard and it's been on and off all day. it's too much to handle right now, i don't know if i can deal with it. i mean... THIS on top of everything else i'm dealing with right now? i have a lot of issues here at chatham and i'm trying really hard in school this year, but i might have to fly to denver next week to take care of some things in his will. that puts a damper on things. i'm sure professors will understand, but i think it's still a set back. i have all these emotional problems that need to be taken care of and this on top of it isn't good. plus, i'm torn to pieces about a recent love interest which is going to put pressure on my relationship with jared.
what's worse is that i feel like there's no one who understands. sure, i have people to talk to, but... i don't even know. i just want to cuddle with someone and have them stroke my hair and tell me everything is going to be alright as i cry into their shoulder.
-eliza
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[02 Sep 2005|04:29pm] |
i survived (barely) the first week of school.
please write to me! i'm so lonely in my apartment!
eliza russell
box 837, woodland road
chatham college
pittsburgh, pa 15232
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| this is a new era of lonliness. |
[02 May 2005|09:54pm] |
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melt bananna. |
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i say it every so often, but i mean it this time. really. i'm not going to use live journal much anymore. all i do is complain and it just makes me seem like a big whiny baby (according to some people, anyway) and they're probably right. i don't talk about my problems in "real life", so this is my little place to vent. i've decided i should probably just write in a paper journal. i think my posts sometimes get a little too person and tend to offend (that rhymed).
i'm really not crazy. a little emotionally unstable, but by no means psycho. reading my journal might make one think so.
love,
eliza
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| stop complaining, eliza!!! |
[28 Mar 2005|05:13pm] |
all my relationships are fated to end horribly.
i feel empty, lost, and unloved (mostly the last one). nothing ever works out for me and i'm sick of getting my heart broken... i can't take it anymore. i'm just going to cut myself off from everyone - that way, i won't get hurt.
i can't believe that after ALL i've done for him, after all the times i've been there for him and helped him, he's going to act like this? he's going to treat me like this? he, of all people, is going to be this immature and petty?
whatever. i'm done. i'm done with him. i'm done with everyone. fuck it.
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| 100% friends only from now on! |
[21 Apr 2004|03:08pm] |
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i know that my entries are generally friends only, but now i'm making it official. i won't make you comment if you want to be kept. but i will make you comment if you want to be taken off my list for any reason.
<3
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[14 Apr 2004|04:14pm] |
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enthralled |
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"sad, sad song" - matt ward |
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guess who got her prom dress last night?! me, that's who! last night mom and i were looking on the internet at some dresses and we went to loralie.com. there had been a few i'd been interested in, but had kinda forgotten about them. so i went back on and saw it again and fell in love. and my mom fell in love right there, too. she immediately made me go get her debit card to order it. i was a little afraid to order of the net at first, but at loralie, they make the dresses to fit. you give them your size and your measurements.
it's not exactly what i was looking for, ironically. i wanted something pink and funky, like that one from jessica mcclintock (brittney's dress). this is still really unique, though. it's different, but still classy. i'm pretty sure no one else at the prom will have it. and if they do, i'll murder them. anyway, here it is. tell me what you think, even if you don't like it! i even got the gloves to go with it. i'll just wear black flats and a thin black ribbon around my neck. for a corsage, i'll probably pin it to the collar of the dress, because it would look silly on my wrist with the gloves. as far as hair goes... i don't really know what i want yet. i mean, it's short and black and the only thing i do with it is make it HUGE with hairspray. but i don't wanna do that for prom. i want something else. any ideas for hair?
( the way you look tonight... )
so anyway, yeah... i pretty much hate school and the people in it, but for some reason i am very excited about prom. i think it's because of the pretty dress and i'll get to spend the night with tom and my bestfriends. plus, it's like the last time i'll really see the seniors, so i will tell everyone off who's ever been mean to me. sluts! :)
xoxo,
eliza
p.s. i'm fucking excited for tina's birthday par-tay!
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| how eliza got her groove back. |
[27 Mar 2004|01:50pm] |
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the movie "thelma and louise" in the background |
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last night was opening night for our musical. it went pretty well, although we were having a bit of trouble with the mikes. ah well. everyone told me i did a really good job, even though i have a small part. some lady came up to me and said i was one of the most natural actors on the stage and i should have had a bigger part! i was like "oh my gosh, thanks!" it felt nice to actually be recognized. the director totally has it in for me, i'm not sure why. she's just a huge bia. nikiya and erin may be coming next weekend to see it! that makes me really happy. tom is coming closing night, it will be really cute. i'm excited.
on thursday, robert, the friend i've been fighting with, said some horribly mean things to me. i was telling my real friends what he said and they were appalled. first of all, he was bitching and he said no wonder john broke up with you. he was a smart kid. i couldn't believe he said that, he knows how hard that breakup was for me and that it totally scarred me for life. the fact he would even bring that up is just wrong. besides, john broke up with me for completely unrelated reasons as to what robert was talking about. robert has no idea what went on with john and me, he's just fucking retarded.
then i said something to robert like "shut the fuck up, you're such a fucking bigmouth" or something and he was like oooh, i'm so hurt, i think i'm going to go cut myself. that was it right there. i couldn't fathom anyone even saying that. i used to cut myself for 3 years when i was clinacally depressed. he has no idea what i went through, what it means, anything. it was totally cruel and uncalled for. i mean, two friends can argue and have a fight, but he totally crossed the line. like whoa. and after all this time i've supported him and put up with his shit, he's going to bring up painful memories and mock them and throw them in my face. he's no friend of mine! he said that right before dress rehearsal, and i couldn't stop bawling. i cried before we went on, the first scene, and then during intermission. it just hurt me so bad, and he doesn't even care that it did.
anyway, i realize that i have true friends that care about me and love me for who i am, no matter what. i adore the friends that i have, no matter if i complain about them. they were so caring and loving when i was there crying. they just sat there with me and listened to me and held and told me it would be okay. i even got a couple kisses on the cheek! haha. so, this is the moral of the story, children: i realized to cherish the friends i have. i realized that not all friends are that good, some are toxic. i know i have friends who love me, in school and out of school, and i don't need some hateful, comtemptable, selfish, self-centered, spoiled, fat, jewish, gay friend (not that i care if he's fat, jewish, or gay - it's just that i've supported him through all that). i typed him this three page, single spaced, 10 pt font letter. i won't give it to him, but it makes me feel better. maybe i'll post it.
so, i love you guys a whole lot. all of you. *mwah*
love like whoa,
eliza
p.s. if you live in the area, come see me in the musical!
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| bye, bye beautiful. |
[16 Feb 2004|07:48pm] |
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mood |
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so how about this: my mother borrows my cursive cd, takes it to school (she's a teacher) to listen to, and has had it for over 2 weeks and hasn't brought it back. i keep telling her to give it back, but she keeps "forgetting". psssh. my mom likes cursive. way weird. she likes bright eyes, too. however, she doesn't like norma jean. she says they're "too screamy". haha. my mom is so rad... way radder than yours! plus, she got me tickets for my birthday to something i've wanted to go to for a loooooong time: the opera carmen! actually, la bohem was my first choice, but it wasn't coming to pittsburgh this year. hell, i'll take whatever i can get. i've always wanted to see an opera live. no more watching it off of pbs! plus, it's the sixth row! i'll be in heaven. how silly is that - i love death metal and opera...
i forgot to mention a few gifts. for a v-day pressie, tom got me this plush pink velvet frog that is sooo cute. britt got me rad buffy stuff, since i love buffy the vampire slayer. valerie got me a hot pink sweater from delia's, dangly pink earrings, bow clips for my hair, and the mars volta lyric/story book. robert hasn't gotten me anything yet, and i don't suppose he will. he's been acting strange the past week and i think he's mad at me. i've asked him what's wrong, but he won't give me a straight answer (haha! no pun intended! he's gay). he's way moody.
this saturday is the dance! i'm muy excited. thomas is sleeping over (!) and he's going to volunteer with me that day. sunday is the bright eyes show. oh man, i'm gonna splooge. i'm not sure who they're coming with, but if they're as good as tilly and the wall, i'll be happy. oh conor oberst... thou are fucking gorgeous.
xoxo -
eliza
p.s. i made a new friend today. she speaks fluent chinese.</i>
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| birthday/valentine's day fun. |
[15 Feb 2004|01:17pm] |
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"the trees" - rush |
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yesterday(valentine's day) = my 18th birthday!
it was one of the best birthdays ever. i started out by recieving valentines from brett (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) countingdown) and erin (__killyourself), which was totally cute. then i picked up tom and we went to robinson mall. i spent too much birthday money at torrid. i got a polka dot skirt (!), a black sweater, retro jeans, pins, and red satin polka dot jammie pants. way cute. it was also good, because katie gave me a gift certificate to robinson mall, which was way-awesome.
then we came home and opened gifts. tom got stuff from torrid for me: a purse shaped like hello kitty's head (so fucking cute), a pink polka dot belt, and hello kitty underwear! he also got me an old an albatross show poster when they were here with the sick lipstick and the cutest, most romantic card ever.
my mom got me lots of cute stuff. lots of pink and polka dots. she got me a polaroid camera, which is way rad. then i had a special birthday dinner and tom and i watched pirates of the carribean and he fell dead asleep. courtney (tink101) called me to wish me a happy birthday, which was really nice of her. we're going to hang out again soon.
the whole day was not only super-fun, it was really romantic to spend with tom. this has been the first valentine's day/birthday that i got to spend with a boyfriend, so it's extra-special. tom was so sweet and romantic and just said all the right things. oh man, he is the best ever and i love him sooooo much.
it was weird yesterday morning, because as i was getting ready, i just started to bawl. and i mean *really* bawl. i'm not sure why, though. i wasn't sad or anything, i think it was just the shock of being 18 suddenly and it's like whoa, my life is almost a quarter over already. today, though, i'm in a very good mood. but i need to take a shower bad. blech.
tattoo update: i've decided to wait a bit longer and save more money from babysitting and hopefully when i get a job! i figured i've waited this long, i can wait a few more months. everyone at school was asking me if i was coming back to school with a tattoo, and i said "i wish!". i need to tweak the design a bit more. i can't get the placement of the sparrows quite right. plus, it's going to cost me about $300. i *do not* have the kind of money right now, especially since i spent a good deal of it on clothes and what not. >_____< this whole plan i had to get my tattoo is just not panning out. i was supposed to *save*, not *spend* my money. ah well, it can wait. i'll probably get it sometime in march or april.
hope all of you had a good v-day!
xoxo,
eliza
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| .only love can save us now. |
[12 Feb 2004|05:05pm] |
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"i alone" - live |
] |
i got my v-day dance dress yesterday and i tried it on. it looks fantastic on me, i must say. i decided a week ago that i want to go to the dance now. screw val and andy not going. tom and i can have fun on our own. plus, i like to show him off. no one believes that i could get someone as handsome as him. haha.
anyway, val told me that she's going to try to take off work to come to the dance with us. i hope so.
i have to write all my valentines tonight. they're stupid harry potter ones. i wanted to get hello kitty, but they didn't have any. i also have to make a valentine's day box for everyone else's valentines. see, the senior class gets a lame party tomorrow and we have to decorate shoe boxes - i remember doing this in elementary school. i'm going to do one of two: wrap the box with black paper, and then in red, jagged letters have it say "love will tear us apart". there will be realistic hearts that are torn or have knives in them. on the contrary, i was thinking about a cutesy one with pink heart wrapping paper, lip prints, little barbie shoes, and pictures of marilyn monroe and pin up girls. hmmm, dilema, dilema!
also, wednesday is "80s day". while i'm not one for partaking in school spirit week, i must take advantage of 80s day. this gives me a chance to be really funky. i was thinking either go way-glam or old school punk. i couldn't decide. so i thought, "why not glam punk?" i'm gonna give myself a mohawk, and wear really thick black eyeliner. i have this off the shoulder top and black frilly skirt. i'll wear fishnets and doc martens and these gigantic white 80s hoops and lots of bangles and what not. good idea or no?
give me ideas!
might have to go thrift shopping for this event... how grand!
xoxo -
eliza
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| bad girl... does it feel good to be bad? |
[10 Feb 2004|02:37pm] |
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a naughty girl i am. i skipped last period! this is a big deal for me, because i never skip class, i'm a good girl. i've never even had a detention. granted, i do plenty of bad things, i just never get caught. :) i left 8th period with valerie, who had an early dismissal for a hair cut.
so i got to go home an hour early! joy!
i think i should skip class more often...
anywho, i've developed the worst case of "senioritis" ever seen. it's quite awful really. i could care less about my studies and completing homework and whatnot. and as if i wasn't lazy enough before! i just don't care anymore. the level of apathy is rising all around me, and i don't care. it's grand.
love,
eliza
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[08 Feb 2004|02:56pm] |
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i'm really sick. i have a cold/stomach thing going on. not good at all. *vomits*
i got my hair cut on saturday - it's a little shorter than i usually like it. granted, my hair is always short, but this time it's almost pixie-cut short. my bangs are also different now. on the left side, the hair is really short and it goes down diagonally so on the right side, the hair is long. make sense? i liked my old bangs better, but i'll deal with it. hair grows.
i got birthday money and spent some yesterday. i got tom rush's greatest hits for v-day, plus a card and chocolate-covered strawberries. i got my grandma some candy and a card. then i bought myself some gaudy 80s plastic jewelry and tattoo magazines. i though about getting some sexy lingerie or something at frederick's or victoria's secret, then i remembered i have this black thing that tom likes. screw dressing all sexy, it comes off anyway. ;)
wooo, lot's of homework to do! perhaps i should get started on that.
xoxo,
eliza
p.s. my birthday is less than a week away! the excitement is killing me. i'm also planning on getting my tattoo on the 21st!
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| whoa, whoa, whoa. |
[06 Feb 2004|10:18am] |
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i decided i don't want to go to the dance. i'll just have a nice dress for some other special occassion. :(
instead, thomas and i are going to spend the day in the southside and have a nice dinner and go to the beehive. perhaps he might sleep over. that would be nice, he hasn't done that for a while.
i started gauging my ears. for a while i had safety pins in them, and i bought curved barbells and now they're at 12. my right ear is fine, but i had trouble with my left ear. in my first set of holes, i have the 12. in my other 2 holes, i have safety pins. honestly, it's a cheap way to start stretching, just make sure that you sanitize them before hand! i keep tugging on curved barbells and i want to go to 00 so badly! i wish i could just magically stretch them to that size. haha.
i have musical practice tonight. afterwards, i might be heading to britt's to watch movies. she printed out pictures of james marsters for me. it's time to go ogle over them...
♥ -
eliza
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| comment, you fucking schmucks. |
[21 Jan 2004|06:43pm] |
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"our house" - madness |
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so, george w. bush is a wang. this was proven by his state of the union address last night, which was really just a facade for a campaign speech.
i like john edwards and john kerry. i hope they become running mates, that would be nice. they have a GOOD chance of beating bush. i hope howard dean doesn't win the democratic primaries, because he would have no hope against bush. he's silly.
♥♥♥
so there's this kid ryan that i know. he's like 21 and really super hardcore and has hott tattoos. and he is in love with me and wants me to break up with my boy.
pghxhardcore: im pissed thaty nora show never came through
norma jean x 04: yesh, me too
pghxhardcore: we coulda gone and made out!!!
pghxhardcore: haha
norma jean x 04: fo' real!
norma jean x 04: that would have been hot
norma jean x 04: i'd make out with you, but i dunno how my boy would have liked it. haha. he wouldn't have to know. ; )
pghxhardcore: so you still got ur man huh
pghxhardcore: how can we ever go on a date?!
norma jean x 04: yeah, did't you ever read my profile?
norma jean x 04: aim profile, that is.
pghxhardcore: ya i know you adore you bf
pghxhardcore: but you'd love me
pghxhardcore: haha
norma jean x 04: awww! i don't think you would like me anyway. i gained a lot of weight since those pictures.
pghxhardcore: oh i doubt you arent still cute as a button
pghxhardcore: i visited your local thrift store on saturday
pghxhardcore: scored me some funny coats
norma jean x 04: oh, you mean the red, white and blue one in avalon?
pghxhardcore: yep
norma jean x 04: yea, i haven't been there in a while.
pghxhardcore: i recognized some girl from ftj there
pghxhardcore: i was like why couldn't that have been you?
norma jean x 04: you are too fucking cute, ryan
he *is* a sweetheart, plus he's cute, but c'mon... i love tom!
♥♥♥
tomorrow i will have a rant for you. oh man, i am SOOOOOO pissed off, but i don't have time right now. dinner. blech.
love,
eliza
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[17 Jan 2004|05:16pm] |
okay, livejournal is being really gay and i hate it!! i won't let me effing log in to comment on the 239487329487 comments people made so nicely on my last post.
fuck you, livejournal!
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| i.rock.to.the.beat.of.your.heart |
[15 Jan 2004|10:23am] |
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content |
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"the martyr" - cursive |
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yesterday=one month until i turn 18.
this is what i'm doing when i'm 18:
1. get my tragus pierced
2. get my tattoo that i've been wanting for over a year
3. go to a strip club
4. buy cigarettes (even though i don't smoke. i'll give them to tom)
5. rent a motel room and spend the night (with tom)
6. go to an "adult shop"
7. get a monroe
8. get my liscence (haha! i could have had it two years ago!)
9. vote.
10.more stuff that i can't think of right now.
it's creepy how many people i know have livejournals. i find them and it's like whoa.
tom's ears are now gauged to a 6, i think; it's pretty hot. i just started mine, so they're not too big yet. damn ears. i've been on my "diet" for a week now and have stayed on it! this is beautiful. anytime before that i tried, i'd fail miserably after a few days. i had no willpower, but now i'm basically forcing myself to have willpower. ha. i think this might work. i just want to be able to borrow valerie's clothing (size 7), she has some cute stuff. i've always hated being overweight, because i cannot swap clothes with friends. but i will now!
that's all.
have a lovely day,
eliza
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[13 Jan 2004|04:06pm] |
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insert emotion here |
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music |
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"pass that dutch" - missy elliot |
] |
to whom it may concern,
my name is elizabeth, and people usually call me liz for short. i don't like "liz" anymore and i want to be called eliza instead. it's cute as fucking hell and i need a change.
i was thinking what i wanted to be called in college, and i knew i didn't want to be referred to as liz. it's getting boring. eliza is nice for now. i wonder if my friends can get used to eliza? ♥
tom and i get into a little tiff today. we were talking about my tattoo and he thinks i should wait longer, just to make sure that i really want it, instead of going out and getting it as soon as i turn 18. then there was this whole arguement why i thought i should get it now and why he thought i should wait about a year or so. yes, i can see his point, but my point is fucking better and i'm sticking to it! it's not some stupid shit i'm taking off the wall of the tattoo parlor. it's something that i designed and something that has a very deep meaning to me, damnit. he says "i'm just trying to look out for you!!" and i *know* that, but still! grrr! i don't even know yet where i'm going to get it, or who the artist is. there are so many fucking tattoo shops in pittsburg and the surrounding areas, it makes me sick.
love always,
eliza
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